Round Two

My intent here was to express fighting with the spirit even when the flesh fails. Ironically, I've noticed that on a good day, I sometimes fight with the flesh when my spirit fails by working out. For me those are the most difficult battles, taking physical action when I am already flat on my back psychologically. Of course, I've been down for the count physically and emotionally and in those times -- on a good day -- I try to fall back on humor.

Table Scrap Band

After several days of getting my meals at a hospital cafeteria, fellow patients and I noticed that despite seeing janitorial staff diligently cleaning the entrance hallway, food debris that had fallen to the floor the day before would be there to greet us the next day. At first it went unnoticed, but by the third and fourth day we could all thought we could identify which crumbs and scraps belonged to each of our respective meals. It was quite puzzling, since we could see staff busy ensuring that the hall outside was virtually spotless.

We even confirmed that the dining area floor was being conspicuously neglected by conducted tests, leaving a bits of food that were readily identifiable to each of us in specific locations to make sure we weren't seeing debris from other patients that had eaten before we arrived. I began to get somewhat attached to the odd French fry or apple seed dropped at my feet from prior meals and eventually imagined the accumulated detritus forming a band and marching away on its own.

Bad Coffee Good Ideas

Another drawing referencing AA, this time highlighting its infamously horrible coffee, although to be fair, I've had worse. I've always found it amusing that an organization that capitalizes on such practical and insightful concepts regarding life almost prides itself on terrible coffee and wondered if both its suggestions and sludge would survive humanity's extinction.

Right Sized

Those that have been to AA will most likely chuckle at this one (or at least I hope they will). For those who haven't, getting 'Right Sized' is a reference to applying some objectivity to how you see yourself, which is quite useful if you want to avoid the nightmare of addiction for another day. Humans frequently suffer from bouts of low self-esteem or egotism and for addicts these internal views can be quite exaggerated and lead us to the nearest drink or drug. Of course, the annoying part about the process of getting 'Right-Sized' is that it involves actually sharing things you may not want to with others and worse yet, listening... ugh.

Fighting Depression

I've been asked a number of times to draw depression by psychiatrists after they saw some of my stuff. There are so many aspects to it that I've always found the task daunting, but at least on this occasion I gave it a go. The sense of physical restraint, the inability to communicate the utter despair with others as well as the sense of pointless finality to life are the principal ingredients for me. I find the fact that it frequently manifests itself apart from any external experience or internal thought process extremely frustrating to my intellect.

The Breakup

I never thought this drawing was terribly creative, but I've never cared for Valentine's Day and I take some solace in the fact that I didn't devote any more neural activity to the concept than your average Hallmark card. At least Shadow got to make his usual guest appearance.

Rehab Simulation

In my own typical fashion, I expressed a few issues I had with a rehab using pen, paper and wit. I would like to point out that despite the 'joys' of such institutional situations, or perhaps in spite of them, I garnered some good insight about myself and life that I could make use of. Well... I can make use of them on a good day. On a bad day, I'm more likely to dredge up less useful aspects of the experience.

I still have an almost scientific curiosity about what the food was made from.

Space Cat

Despite the title, this was another of my addiction themed drawings. Houston is being notified of a problem as the indicators for three key sobriety elements begin to drop. All I did was add science fiction, a cat and a dash of humor to the concept, three ingredients always prevalent in my life.

The Steps

I've spent all of my life dealing with clinical depression and much of it struggling with addiction. I could say quite a bit about either, but this drawing encapsulates a familiar choice that many face with the latter and I'll let it speak for itself.

Cat Plans

Another of my Helpful Ones cartoons featuring one of my cats, Shadow. And yes, he is smart enough that I wouldn't be phased in the slightest if he handed me a blueprint showing the addition of a doorbell to the kitchen door for his use.

Horse Power

This is another drawing that makes me wish I had jotted something down about what I was thinking when I did it. I do remember I was in a hospital, but other than that, I don't recall being inspired by anything external. It's possible I had a finished concept in my head before I set pen to paper as I frequently do or I may have drawn the horse and that triggered the concept based on the term horse-power.

Kate

As the title says, I did this drawing for a woman named Kate, who was one of the most compassionate, strong and vibrant souls I've ever met. It was intended to echo an experience she shared and I consider my self lucky to have met her. Even with the passing of years, her presence left an indelible mark that is as vivid now as it was then.

The experience of creating something for someone else is more enjoyable and fulfilling to me than anything I could ever do for my own personal muse.

Doodle

All I could cough up today was a doodle.

Poker Pigeons

Okay, this is the last of the cleaned and found drawings (well, probably not the last considering just how many other piles and mounds of papers, pads, etc. I have lying around). I think I did this while at a hospital, but I can't be sure. The fact that it appears to be a spin on the classic Dogs Playing Poker painting and seems to denote a bad pun involving the idiomatic 'pigeon', it's quite possible I wasn't inspired by anything at the time.

However, there is an odd feature of the drawing that is puzzling the hell out of me. The berets, the bottle of wine and the striped shirts (which I know from old movies to be a sort of Parisian fashion cliché), seem to indicate the pigeons were French. It's going to be driving me nuts for decades to come as to why I would make the pigeons French.

And before you say anything, I know there's nothing supporting the table... It's art, dammit.

Nest

This was one of a few drawings I uncovered while cleaning up (something I make a habit of every decade). As usual I have to play Sherlock Holmes and deduce that it was most likely done around christmas due to the pear tree. It reminds me to keep jotting down notes like this just to remind me of the inspiration. An especially good habit when your memory isn't exactly... what's the word? Just had it on the tip of my tongue... dammit.

Well at any rate, It's a good habit.

Horse

All I'm going to say about this one is that I love horses so much that I deeply regret never having spent any time really practicing to draw them. I mean, for the love of god, I made this thing look like an escapee from the powerpuff girls.

Chef Nurse Superman

I know I drew this, but I can't for the life of me remember why. There is a nurse, and I've spent my fair share of time in hospitals. But other than that, I'm clueless. I'm fairly certain I was never in a situation where an italian chef was calling for superman... On the other hand I used to drink quite heavily so anything's possible I guess.

Anger

This was an attempt to express the rage I felt during a childhood outburst when I was very young. The details of the event are foggy to me now but the sensation of the blind rage I felt is still clear. I even experienced visual distortions that gave me a personal grasp of the very expression 'blind rage' itself. The anger was so palpable it felt like a separate entity, consuming my sense of self and carrying me along like a piece of flotsam on a white water river.

But I'm feeling MUCH better now.

Viking Hot-Spot

DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK.
ERIK THE RED WOULD HAVE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF A HOT-SPOT TOO.

Sometimes I stop to scan various stages of a drawing, as I did here from the pencil sketch to the inked version and finally the colored pencil.

Keep Smiling

Sometimes when someone I care about is having a rough time, words alone feel insufficient. Sending something like this may also fall short of conveying as much as I'd like, but it's a bit closer.

Pressure

I don't do well under pressure. Clearly I need to re-evaluate the whole drawing a day thing.